{ true love is in the everyday }
I read this here yesterday and I thought it was worth sharing:
“a few years ago, my father shared with me some wisdom about relationships. he said (in essence): ‘your relationship is not about that big fight you had yesterday, or your wedding day. it’s about all the other days. it’s about the day-to-day rituals, the patterns of behavior and the consistent, general attitude you have towards one another. love is not about those really good days or those really cranky days. it’s about everything in between: the way you talk about your day, the favors you do for each other without even thinking about it, and the last words you speak to each other before falling asleep at night.’ “
I like that. I think every couple has the wonderfully happy “movie moments” and the times of crisis, but I think that person is right – it’s about how you treat each other day to day. In fact, the vows we exchanged on our wedding day even said, “I promise to love you in the midst of the everydayness and the specialness of life”.
I love our “everydayness”.
December 19th, 2009 at 9:30 am
i agree too. its impossible to focus on the perfect moments, because life doesn’t stay like that. and if we dwelt on the hard times it wouldn’t work out. i like this.
December 21st, 2009 at 6:54 pm
One of my girlfriends has been married 17 years, and I asked if her friends look at her marriage as happy, while they themselves often have unhappy marriages. She said yes. I asked whether marriage is really made up of the everyday, or whether it is those high-high and low-low times that either makes or breaks it. She says it is mostly everyday—and that the bad marriages sometimes are only good on like birthdays and Christmas. It has to be the everyday time. …But, this girl also lost her mother within the first year of her marriage, when she was only your age…and I think that that time of crisis also strengthened their marriage. Perhaps that indicated that they would be together forever, through that first time of tragedy, through future times of tragedy…and through all the everydayness they experience now. I’m happy for them and for you. All I want is to experience this myself someday.