Tonight was Stephanie’s last day at work.  We went to Applebee’s and my boss bought us drinks and I had a strong margarita that I could not finish if I wanted to make it back to Reynoldsburg in one piece.  Our department has dwindled down from five to three people since I arrived in August and it seems like everywhere, ((not just at my place of employement)) people are moving on to bigger, rounder things.  I wonder what will be mine.

I feel like a lost person sometimes.  In college it was easy.  I liked to write, so I was an English major.  I took creative writing classes where everyone gets a good grade and where we have class outside in the grass, eating chocolate covered coffee beans and trying to come up with the opposite of “belly button” and the opposite of “plaid.”  Where we would go to Dr. Gormon’s house and eat his homemade gaucomole and sit on the couch with his big, smelly dog and read our stories to each other.  I wasn’t concerned with job searching and careers and bills.  I would graduate and write.  But it doesn’t work like that.  I can’t afford to be romantic about my ambitions. 

I don’t even know what I want to do if I had a choice.  I am thinking of taking some art and photography classes at CCAD in the evenings.  I am trying to make beautiful things with my hands to sell on my etsy.com.  I like the idea of being independent – being the boss of myself. 

We all have our dreams.  My Funnel wants to fly.  My mom wants to own her own shop and restore an old home.  My mother-in-law wants to write a book about her life and the trials she walked through with Jesus.  I want to create my own beautiful world to live in.

What are yours?

I must say, work aside, I love my new life.  Our new life.

Probably my favorite is at night, before we go to sleep.  Sometimes it is very late before he gets home but we stay up and talk about all those things bumping around in our heads, and I don’t feel alone anymore.  It reminds me of those sleepovers I had with Courtney when we were little, under the covers giggling and imagining and talking about horses and God and dalmations until Mom came in and only half-sternly told us to go to bed. 

Even though I drive to work sleepy every morning, I can’t help but smile when I think about what I am coming home to.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 12th, 2007 at 3:39 pm and is filed under love + some verses, rock + paper + hand grenade. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.